I had an email from a dolphin requesting that dolphin be admitted to WISE COLIN’S FISH HALL OF FAME* (did I mention that I am President?). It attached a petition signed by thousands of dolphin from all over the world.
Well, in my official capacity I regret to inform you that your application has been unsuccessful. You see, dolphins, you are mammals not fish.
Yes, I know you look like fish and swim a bit like fish, but the unattractive way you gulp air and have babies and all that messy milk. It’s obvious you need to sort yourselves out. You have ambitions to be fish – sure. I acknowledge that. But where’s the commitment? Where’s the real desire?
While you have a fin in both camps, the answer has to be no*. Perhaps you would like to re-submit your application in a few million years.
Yours sadly, Colin (President).
(PS: I know there is a fish joke in this sentence, but this is no time for levity – dolphin are hurting.)
*WISE COLIN’S FISH HALL OF FAME is a society that celebrates excellence in fish species evolution. Goldfish must definitely NOT apply. From the quality of the applications I think I will have to make it invitation only.