House Rules.

I’ve had to point a few things out to the snail. There are certain house rules in my aquarium he’ll have to observe.

RULE 1: You’re to clean up after yourself.
RULE 2: You’ll eat only leftovers.
RULE 3: No kinky sex with yourself until the aquarium lights are off.*

*George has just assured me that the snail is not a hermaphrodite. Phew!

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