Disappointed dolphin

OK dolphin, I will re-submit your application to Wise Colin’s Fish Hall of Fame, but I fear the outcome will be the same. The committee (me) thinks as I do that you lack the necessary qualifications to be admitted.

We know you are intelligent, some even say on par with humans (which is not saying much) and we know you can do neat tricks, but this is really not what defines a fish.

Our objections (as per previous correspondence) still stand and unless you have somehow overcome these obstacles you are again bound for disappointment.

We, the committee and myself, understand that rejection is hard (not that I have personally experienced it), yet we urge you to understand our position and not make petulant demands. Your ridiculous suggestion that we re-name our institution Wise Colin’s Marine Creatures Hall of Fame is totally unacceptable. Whilst this change might allow entry of your kind into our institution, it also open membership to all kinds of riff-raff including sea cucumbers, prawns, crabs and oysters.

I know I may sound a snob but standards must be maintained. A fish is a fish (unless it’s a goldfish).

Yours Colin (President)


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