Mad Marty Marlin

The following is an edited version of an online chat with heavyweight fighting fish Marty Marlin who recently saw my community announcement about resisting hooks. As a psychologist (yes, another area of expertise) I publish it here – with permission from “Marty”*- in the hope that it may be of help to other fish in Marty’s position.


Marty Marlin cruises all day looking for a hook-up.

MARTY: Dear Colin, I am desperate. You are my last hope. When I read your community announcement about resisting hooks, I knew you could help me. You are so wise, Wise Colin.
COLIN: Yes, Marty, so true. But what is your problem?
MARTY: Whenever I see as hook I just want to throw myself on it. I hate myself. I am so weak. But I just can’t resist.
COLIN: Tell me a little more.
MARTY: My first time was just an accident. I happened upon a hook. I took the bait – just to see what it was like. But now I cruise about all day, checking out deep sea charter boats.
COLIN: This does sound bad.
MARTY: Yes, soon I’ll get caught – I just know it.
COLIN: Can you describe what you feel when you see a hook?
MARTY: When I see one of those shiny things, I feel a rush.
COLIN: A rush? Do you mean testosterone?
MARTY: Yes, Wise Colin. I knew you’d understand.
COLIN: As a fighting fish myself, albeit on a smaller scale, I feel Marty that I know where you marlins are coming from. That rush is RAGE!
MARTY: YES, YES! I just want to grab that hook and haul its owner overboard. I HATE these humans!
COLIN: Now now, Marty – let’s not jump to conclusions. I’m the psychologist here.
MARTY: Sorry, Colin. But what is wrong with me?
COLIN: You want to kill your father and sleep with your mother. The hook is but a symbol of a sublimated sexual tension.
MARTY: Yes, yes – it’s all clear now. But what can I do?
COLIN: Settle down with a nice girl marlin or a compatible male friend, if you’re gay.
MARTY: Thank you, Colin – thank you.

*Not his real name. His real name is Steve.


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