International Year of Niceness to Humans (revised plan)

Just to get you in the mood - here is a picture of the Sydney Harbour Bridge taken by George, my human fish-whisperer companion, of a past New Year's Eve. Judging by its blurry quality George wasn't drinking water that night.

As the new year approaches I, Wise Colin – as you know – have made a firm resolution to be nicer to humans.

Regarding this resolution, however, I have some good news and some bad news.

Which do you want first?

OK, the good news – my plan for an International Year of Niceness to Humans is going ahead.

Now for the bad news – I’ve decided to revise my plans.

Yes, as much as I hate to admit defeat, it seems I may have been over-ambitious in my desire to promote human well-being.

So what changes have been made to my plan?

After agonising over the matter, I have decided to reduce the number of dot points I have dedicated to this important event from ten to five.

This decision was not taken lightly, but the stress I have been under to come up with ten nice things to say about your species has proved too much. (I was breaking out in a nasty scale rash.)

So here they are, five dot points. I’m confident now I will be able to fill them out with glowing statements about the positive virtues of your species.

Don’t worry, folks – Wise Colin is determined. This is one new year resolution I intend to keep.


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