As the new year approaches I, Wise Colin – as you know – have made a firm resolution to be nicer to humans.
Regarding this resolution, however, I have some good news and some bad news.
Which do you want first?
OK, the good news – my plan for an International Year of Niceness to Humans is going ahead.
Now for the bad news – I’ve decided to revise my plans.
Yes, as much as I hate to admit defeat, it seems I may have been over-ambitious in my desire to promote human well-being.
So what changes have been made to my plan?
After agonising over the matter, I have decided to reduce the number of dot points I have dedicated to this important event from ten to five.
This decision was not taken lightly, but the stress I have been under to come up with ten nice things to say about your species has proved too much. (I was breaking out in a nasty scale rash.)
So here they are, five dot points. I’m confident now I will be able to fill them out with glowing statements about the positive virtues of your species.