Human happiness has plummeted after Siamese fighting fish Wise Colin’s announced his cancellation of the International Year of Niceness to Humans.
Wise Colin, also a Zen Master (specialising in street signs), said recently, “I took the decision (to cancel) most reluctantly. I had dedicated ten dots points to the event. Those ten points – ten positive positive statements about humanity – were impossible to fill. I could not think of one.”
“The effect on my health caused by the campaign was awful,” he said. “My vet almost fainted when he took my pulse. And I do wish he would use a smaller stethoscope – it almost crushed me. And that thermometer he put you know where. Where else has it been? I know he treats cats and dogs. I don’t want some kind of cross-species infection.”
Wise Colin reports that he is feeling better now.