Why goldfish suck

Goldfish have no pride, no class, no self-respect at all.

When I was in the pet shop, before George bought me, I had to watch some inbred goldfish neighbours all day long. (Have you any idea how boring watching aquariums can be – like daytime TV!) Anyway, these goldfish swam around with long trails of poo coming from their rears. Only when something bumped it off or it grew so heavy that even gravity couldn’t stand it any more, did the poo dislodge. Not even humans would do that. Well, perhaps not most of them.

Disgusting! Why do people buy them? I don’t wish to carp (fish joke), but goldfish really are pathetic. And they really do reinforce the unfair prejudice that all fish are stupid.

No, not all fish are stupid. Some fish are stupid. Goldfish are stupid! It’s true, they have the attention span of a nano second. How else do you explain the poo? They’ve forgotten they’ve gone to the toilet!

Goldfish suck! Don’t buy them.

goldfish poo

Evidence for the prosecution

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