What is it with this guy? George my human fish-whispering companion got me a fossil of a fish. That’s right – a fossil of a fish! He thought I might like to look at it. Put it right next to the aquarium. And guess what? Yes, exactly. This fossil starts to talk. A talking fossil! (Unless I learned to fossil-whisper?) Anyway, she (yes, it is a she – she calls herself Mrs Robinstone) won’t shut up. Day in day out, natter, natter natter. My ears are bleeding. I guess she making up for lost time – she at least a few million years old.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, I think this fossil fancies me. Now I’m a fish of the world, but she is truly frightening. I feel I’m am being stalked by one of those predatory cougar types. Doesn’t she understand I’m a Zen Master (specialising in street signs) and that I have dedicated myself to higher things.