OK, maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing to do in the world – not something you’d expect from a Zen Master Siamese fighting fish – but hey, you’ve got to let your fins down sometimes. This is a prank I pulled on George, my fish-whisperer companion on April Fool’s Day.
Like every other morning, George came to my aquarium to see how I was going, to see if I had survived the night, so to speak. (George is such a worrier.) Anyway on this particular morning – April Fool’s Day – I pretended to be dead. You know, I floated on my side, all limp, all lifeless-like, fins a-droop. George screamed. Yes, that’s right – he actually screamed and carried on, wailing and moaning, ripping at his hair (he hasn’t got much) – totally distraught over his loss (me that is, not his hair).
So far, so good, I thought – an appropriate response. It then occurred to me that maybe I had overdone it, pushed the joke too far. I even began to feel sorry for him. Soon, however, whatever sympathy I felt for George quickly disappeared. Because what happened next was a TOTAL OUTRAGE. George, scoops my tiny body from the tank and heads off for the bathroom. The bathroom! Yes, you guessed it!
Now I thought when I exited this life George would arrange a proper, more befitting ceremony to mark my passing – you know, a fancy gold coffin, some kind of well-attended procession, pallbearers, carriage drawn by six black horses, acres of flowers – very Princess Di. But no, a quick trip to the toilet bowl!
Anyway, just as he was about to drop me in, I sprung back to life and yelled, “Surprise! April fool!” (Of course I had to send this message telepathically). George, idiot that he is, faints and lets go of me. Next I plop into the bowl.
Half an hour I was in there, swimming amongst the germs, waiting for stupid George to come to.
So in the end, I guess the joke was on me. But at least I learned one thing about George that morning. And should he pass on before me, guess where he’s going.