I’ve just been looking through a list of past prize winners in a number of well-known literary awards and guess what? Not a fish amongst them.
Is this an example of fishism? Are humans the only life form allowed to enter these awards?
As President of the Wise Colin’s Fish Hall of Fame I wish to protest on behalf of all fish at our apparent exclusion from this cultural pursuit (other life forms can protest for themselves).
To remedy this appalling situation I suggest a period of positive discrimination – maybe ten years – during which only fish can enter any literary award. This length of time will help fish to become better writers (many of them, I confess, are very bad at spelling and they mostly write that flow of consciousness drivel) and will aid humans in warming to the idea that other life forms have something to offer the world of literature.