Fish wants to play the new Time Lord

Could Wise Colin be the new Doctor Who? Colin considers the colour scheme for his TARDIS.

Yes, I’m a Doctor Who fan.  HOWEVER, as President of the Wise Colin’s Fish Hall of Fame I must protest on behalf of all aquarium fish about the show’s continued use of hominid-looking types for the main leads*.

Don’t you humans realise that we aquarium fish, situated as we are in lounge rooms, waiting rooms and restaurants around the world, are often forced to watch TV, sometimes against our wills. In short, we are viewers too and it is about time our interests were taken into account. We need stars we can truly identify with.

So why not some positive discrimination? How about the next time you choose a Time Lord, you choose a fish (I could be persuaded to take on the role and I have an excellent female companion, a veteran time-traveller and fish fossil, Mrs Robinstone.) Of course the whole series will have to be set in water – hey, we’ve had enough of air. (So boring!) Humans could swim in for guest appearances – snorkels provided, or perhaps with aqualungs, if the budget will stretch to it.

As for villains and nasties, there are fish aplenty with rough heads.

Mrs Robinstone (aka The Cougar) is interviewed about her aspirations for the role of the Doctor's female companion.

*Yeah, yeah – I know he’s “got” two hearts. I could have four gills if that will help my chances.


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