Dolphin love-in

I’m intrigued by this whole dolphin/homo sapiens relationship. It’s like some kind of hippie, cross-species “love-in” thing.

But let’s tease things out. Fins up – how many of you have ACTUALLY seen a dolphin jumping up out of the water in front of a rainbow?

OK, one of you. (There’s always one. What were you smoking at the time?)

Now for the rest of you the answer was ‘no’ and why? Because it’s just dolphin propaganda.

Dolphin are so goody-goody, so wholesome. But it’s all a great con. They are just air-sucking mammal deviants who’ll do anything for a fish. (I am sure you’ve all seen them “turning tricks” at some sea world.)

So why do you humans suck up to dolphins? (If it was a certain Siamese fighting fish, I’d understand.) Maybe it’s some kind of insurance plan – you hope they will save you from drowning or even better, pop up to save you from a shark attack.

Well, maybe. But you better have a fish at hand.

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