Salmon breeding (again)

The Guardian reports that salmon numbers have increased against expectations.

I suppose this is good news. But you really have to wonder sometimes if salmon should be encouraged. I mean they’re erratic at the best of times (some might unkindly describe them as unstable – I would). Just consider their pathetic lifestyle – can’t decide if they’re fresh water or sea creatures. Up the river to breed then back out to sea. That’s no life – especially for the kids. But of course, as all fish know the real reason why salmon numbers went down for the past few years is the fact they have problems in the bedroom department, so to speak.

Maybe it was something in the water but I have it on good authority (I am PRESIDENT of the Wise Colin Fish Hall of Fame) that salmon stopped breeding because of a collective decision brought on by the fact that they are bored with the sameness of their nuptial routine.

“Must we go to that same old river,” salmon everywhere declared. “I sick of spawning there. It gives me gravel rash. Maybe we could go in the Bahamas instead.”

This, alas, was a typical comment. Fortunately (or unfortunately) some smart salmon mentioned the “e” word (extinction). Kind of focuses the mind. So salmon are back at it again.

Same old, same old.


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