Category Archives: Comedy

A very wise Wise Colin observation

Here is a little observation I want to share with you. I hope you will remember it always. Especially if you keep an aquarium.

A fish out of water is most probably dead.

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New species of clown fish discovered

Wise Colin attends a clown workshop.

Wise Colin hopes to star in any re-make of Finding Nemo.

Happy Birthday, Mr President!

NEWS FLASH:

Wise Colin, illustrious President of Wise Colin’s Fish Hall of Fame, celebrates his birthday.

Below fish-girl of his dreams, sexy blonde bombshell Marilyn Angelfish sings him “Happy Birthday”.

Marilyn Angelfish sings President Wise Colin a husky, seductive rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.

If only other presidents were so lucky.

12 step program for alcoholic goldfish

A convincing argument for raising the legal drinking age for goldfish.

A common confusion amongst goldfish concerning cocktails and fire extinguishers.

Yes, I think a twelve step program is definitely called for.

Fussy Eaters

Sharks are fussy eaters. They seem not to like humans much. I think the problem with humans is that their meat tastes so bad (too many chemicals). In the interest of shark health I suggest that human swimmers should be labelled (like other meat is labelled) so the sharks know what they’re eating. Chemical-free type vegetarians, for example, could be stamped “organically certified”.

Just a thought.

Wise Colin

An insult to all rabbits

Population seven billion! Wake up humans, or better still, cross your legs! This can’t go on. As one commentator recently said you’re “at it like rabbits”.

This last remark of course is highly offensive to rabbits.  A rabbit I know…(George, my human keeps rabbits as well – how weird can this guy get?)  Anyway, I digress.  George parked this rabbit on a chair next to my aquarium.  The rabbit and I struck up a conversation.

I’ve learnt rabbit. It’s not too hard. Most fish speak numerous languages and are experts at cross-species communications  – all that fish oil, makes us intelligent. I tried some telepathic rabbit whispering for a bit but their train of thought jumps all over the place (what do you expect from rabbits). And a little like this post – must be the rabbit influence, even just thinking about them makes your thoughts hop .

Anyway this rabbit – between chews on its carrot – says he is sick of lewd references to rabbit reproductive practices by humans. In fact, the rabbit said that he found the whole situation a source of great irony.

THOUGHT HOP: Yes, the rabbit actually used that expression “a source of great irony” or at least the rabbit equivalent. Rabbits are better educated these days.

The rabbit said that it was ironic that humans use the saying “at it like rabbits” because rabbits have their own term “at it like homo sapiens” when they are describing promiscuous behaviour.

THOUGHT HOP: A behaviour I might add they don’t approve of. Rabbits are rather prudish in matters of sex. In fact the rabbit told me they don’t like it at all. He said they only do it because they sleep walk a lot. He said it was all very disturbing because they never know who they will wake up next to.

Anyway, as far as humans are concerned I think the rabbit was right. “At it like homo sapiens” should be the new catch-cry. Seven billion kind of proves it.

FINAL THOUGHT HOP: For those of you interested in other species communication, rabbits do not talk like Bugs Bunny at all. They sound much more like Marlon Brando in “The Godfather”.

See, you learn something new every day.

Ceci n’est pas une pipe

Step right up, step right up.

Let me set the scene.

As a tribute to mime master Marcel Marceau, street performer and Siamese fighting fish Wise Colin will now perform his impersonation of the  Belgium surrealist artist René Magritte’s painting of the smoker’s pipe.

Promenading French-speaking fans gather about his aquarium and stare in awe. Cheers go up from the crowd, thrilled by his performance. Meanwhile  a snooty-nosed art critic from a nearby gallery strolls past and joins the crowd. He makes a disparaging remark.

Colin is unperturbed.

Busker Wise Colin does a smoker's pipe.

Note Colin’s intense concentration. You can almost see him think.