Category Archives: Zen

The seahorse and the equal opportunity boss

Below Sam the Seahorse, secretary of the Wise Colin Fish Hall of Fame,  asks equal opportunity employer, Wise Colin (President) for parental leave to give birth to a new batch of seahorses.  Sam, like other sensitive new-age male seahorses, takes on the responsibility of giving birth to his offspring which were deposited as eggs in his breeding pouch by his female partner, Gloria.

A note to all equal opportunity employers – Wise Colin’s use of his famous Zen thought technique, the “double om” for controlling his temper must not be used for prolonged periods.  If bad temper persists, consult a doctor.


Wise Colin Rodeo Champion

Wise Colin, rodeo champion, brings his Zen Master skills to the riding the bucking bronco (seahorse division).

Controlling the bucking bronco with a yeeha-om.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…buzz, buzz. There’s the buzzer! Your eight seconds are up. Great ride, Colin!

Cowboy Wise Colin

Out on the aquarium range Wise Colin, the singing cowboy, brings the skill of his Zen Master training to settle the cowfish at night.

The cowfish settle for the night under the spell of Wise Colin's melodic yippe-i-om.

Cougar alert

What is it with this guy? George my human fish-whispering companion got me a fossil of a fish. That’s right – a fossil of a fish! He thought I might like to look at it. Put it right next to the aquarium. And guess what? Yes, exactly. This fossil starts to talk. A talking fossil! (Unless I learned to fossil-whisper?) Anyway, she (yes, it is a she – she calls herself Mrs Robinstone) won’t shut up. Day in day out, natter, natter natter. My ears are bleeding. I guess she making up for lost time – she at least a few million years old.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, I think this fossil fancies me. Now I’m a fish of the world, but she is truly frightening. I feel I’m am being stalked by one of those predatory cougar types. Doesn’t she understand I’m a Zen Master (specialising in street signs) and that I have dedicated myself to higher things.

The Zen Master and Mrs Robinstone.

Fish invents new Swiss meditation technique

Zen Master Wise Colin, whilst mediating on a hole in a piece of Swiss cheese left near his aquarium after a dinner party, is inspired to invent a new meditation technique. He calls it the yodel om.

Wise Colin demonstrates the yodel om.

For best results Wise Colin suggests that humans practise this technique by standing one-legged on a mountain top.

Om Champion Wise Colin

Om Champion, Wise Colin, shows how it is done in the annual Zen Master Underwater Meditation and Om Chanting Competition (fighting fish division). What fintastic technique (fish joke).

Confident Colin - another winning display!

Zen Master Wise Colin gives way to an improper thought

Yes, even Zen Masters can have thoughts of the flesh. After all, they are only human – I mean fish.

Here, Zen Master Wise Colin, his mind temporarily lured away from street signs, has a thought which is lustful, lewd, lascivious, lecherous, indecent, impure, immodest, illicit, unseemly, coarse, smutty, sordid, obscene, disgraceful, distasteful, depraved, debauched, disgusting, dirty, degenerate, repulsive, tawdry, venal, gross, rancid…you get the idea.

Descent to a lower plane. Lustful Zen Master Wise Colin with his unbecoming thought.

Will Wise Colin ever survive this fall from grace?