Warning: you have entered a CRIME SCENE
Yes, disturbing, isn’t it? Human violence at its worst.
Which one of you – and I know you are out there – is responsible for this?
But don’t worry, super sleuth Wise Colin will apply his superior fish intelligence to the case. (Have I mentioned I am the world’s only fish profiler and forensic expert?)
Colin’s Forensic Analysis:
This is a tough case. And far from conclusive. But now having examined all the evidence, I have pieced together the events leading to this tragic double homicide. Here is the most plausible scenario.
It is a dark night. John and Jane Doe (not their real names) drive their car through the darkness along a deserted road. Suddenly the car engine cuts out and the car rolls to a stop. They hear strange noises. Then they see strange beams of light. Soon strange figures with enlarged heads and almond-shaped eyes surround the vehicle. Zap! John and Jane plunge into unconsciousness. They experience blurry visions in a dream-like state. Soon they are on an operating table. They feel probes.
“Ohhh-ahhhh,” they cry.
Suddenly they are back in their car. They are conscious again. They must tell someone – the authorities.
They drive to the nearest town.
It is a small town. A desolate town. Empty aluminium drink cans roll like tumble-weeds down the main street. They find its only law enforcement officer. His name is Officer X (not his real name). Officer X listens to their story. Yes, he’s heard this kind of thing before. He believes them. He takes down notes. He promises he will follow it up. As John and Jane leave his office, Officer X makes a phone call.
John and Jane now leave the town. They are relieved. They know the authorities will take action. But then sometime later, as they once more travel along the deserted highway, a car appears from behind. It speeds towards them, but doesn’t overtake.
John is worried. He senses something is wrong.
He says to Jane, “I think there is something wrong.”
Jane says, “Yes.”
Suddenly – bang, bang! A series of gunshots is heard.
John says to Jane, “I think someone is shooting at us.”
Jane says, “Yes.”
Gunshots now shatter the rear windscreen fatally striking John and Jane in the head. John slumps over the wheel making the car swerve this way and that. Finally John’s car careens off the road and tumbles down into a deep ravine.
A man appears on the road above and peers down into the ravine. The man, let’s call him Y (not his real name) holds a large spade. Y climbs down into the ravine. Y disposes of the bodies of John and Jane in a shallow grave. A large helicopter arrives and removes the car.
So how did we learn about these murders with the evidence concealed? Incredibly, some keen-eyed observer spotted the outline of John and Jane’s lonely grave on Google Earth.
Why were John and Jane travelling down a deserted road so late at night? Were they cruising to get probed by aliens?
Why did aliens select them when they could’ve chosen any street sign?
Who did Officer X phone? Was he just paying a bill?
Who is Y? Does he often carry spades?
Who ordered the helicopter or was it just a joy flight gone wrong?
Was this some kind of government cover-up to hide the existence of UFOs, or was Y just a revengeful, jilted lover in a bisexual love triangle with Jane and John?
And finally, what about the keen-eyed observer on Google Earth? Was he just some sad obsessive grave-spotter with too much time on his hands or a guilt-ridden party to the crime?
So many questions, so few answers.